The plan for next year's room.

I have a double in Rowland right now. Next year I will have a single in Terrace 12. I am going to make my room a place for people to gather socially, despite it's compact size.

I will get a D-loft bed, which will allow me nearly 5 feet of space under my bed. Next to it I will build another loft, one five feet wide and 5 feet tall. On that loft I will keep my clothing, books, and storage items. Next to my bed will sit my desk, I will work on my laptop there.

Under my lofts is where the fun will be. Here is a floorplan:


I want to create a lounge atmosphere. A low ceiling with old Christmas lights will intensify the closeness. On the floor will be a futon mattress for people to lie down on. There will be a refrigerator stocked with fine drinks, including but limited to Saranac Root Beer, Champagne, and some high-end Bourbon (I'll only be drinking the Root Beer of course). My gorgeous speaker system will be present, and it will fill the cavern with a thick, rich sound. A television will have classic Nintendo games hooked up to it, as well as a DVD player for film screenings.

In this room I will throw "Gatsby Parties," lavish and intimate get-togethers in order to intensify the mystery surrounding myself (I say that with no delusion of pretentiousness). The gatherings will be every Friday night, I will wear my finest clothes, and all are welcomed to come.

My room will be awesome.

The Story of an Industrial Giant: The Devil in the Belfry

Devil in the Belfry has a history before it's namesake. We will begin there.

At random, Comrade Eryk met Comrade Crosby one day over a summer in 2003. After discovering similar interests, a band was proposed. This made Crosby's girlfriend, from now on referred to as Beelzebub, upset that she would have to share his time with this newcomer. She would remain a persistant problem for a year of time, impeding the progress of the band and nearly destroying the tentative friendship between the Comrades several times.

They began in Eryk's basement, under the pseudoname "Brave New World." This was changed almost immediately to "Catharsis." Both these names remain slightly irrelevant, because this moniker never left Eryk's basement. Eryk and Crosby's first lineup was Keyboardist Eli, Bassist and Backup Vocals Jenna, Drummer Talia, Guitarist Crosby, and Guitarist and Lead Vocalist Eryk. When they took the stage, they were "Magnus," in honor of Eryk's old chord-organ that was never actually used by anyone.

Magnus played one show with this lineup at a school talent show. The setlist included the songs "Catharsis" and "An Eye Made Quiet." The performance was questionable, as the band did not practice as much as they desired to. Tensions were heavy in the band betwen Talia and Eryk, and Jenna and Eryk, and Crosby and Eryk. Well, basically, everyone agreed that Eryk was being egomaniacal and wanted to sound like Thom Yorke. After this show Magnus disappeared until about April, where they geared up to play a show at Eryk's high school. Eryk's ego still inflated, he expected to win and do very well. Keyboardist Eli had left the band, and a third guitarist was added, Brower. Magnus performed four Beatles covers (as was the requirement), and they did a notably poor job attributed to musical indeciciveness and lack of practice. Eli's new band ended up winning the competition.

With Eryk now humiliated, he was humbled and no longer had any perceptions of superiority. For some time he desired to quit playing altogether. At this time Magnus disbanded again, for the final time. The recording of "An Eye Made Quiet" is the only surviving piece of their work.

The summer of 2004 brought the birth of The Devil in the Belfry, and the birth of a brotherhood between Crosby and Eryk. Over that summer, music was rarely played, and many spudguns were built. They bonded through a common set of interests yet to be fully exploited. Crosby also shed Beelzebub from his side, giving him freedom of expression he had not known nearly all his teenage life. Eryk had rebounded from the show thanks to the eventful summer, and was ready to play once more. The band was conceived over four pints of homemade mead, and they would rock free-market economies everywhere.

They practiced for some time, before the two of them appeared at a talent show on January 20th, 2005. Mike played up the event heavily, but they had no drummer to play with yet. Three hours before the show they contacted one-time drummer Kyle, who provided a perfect backing. Devil in the Belfry took the stage wearing Budionovkas and matching uniforms with a sense of social purpose rather than artistic duty. Eryk's lyrics were no longer radiohead ripoffs but of his own vision. His voice no longer tried to croon, but instead howl and swing acorss the stage. Crosby's stage presence had increased tenfold, and his ability and arranging music had reached new heights. They played two songs, "The Dromadary" and "Merry Way to the Gallows." While the Gallows received a mixed review (mostly for lack of instrumentation), the Dromadary became legendary. It caused a full uproar, as Devil in the Belfry emitted gamma waves of energy from the stage. It remains a flagship song in their performances.

Devil in the Belfry rejoined with Drummer Talia and attempted to play a Battle of the Bands. Armed with five well-crafted songs, they took the stage. Unfortunately, Talia's lack of skill was a burden to the performance, and her stagefright made things even worse. Along with technical mishaps by both Crosby and Eryk, Devil in the Belfry came in third place. This is understandable, as the second place band was crowd-pleasing ska, and the winning band had heavy influence over the judges table (girlfriends, brothers, etc).

During that performace Eryk and Crosby did not "acknowledge Talia" enough. This led her to quit the band violently, leaving blood on Crosby's hands, who had handled the situation alone.

The summer of 2005 proved to be exceedingly difficult for the Devil in the Belfry, they had a new Drummer Ken and Bassist/Flutist Melissa. Unfortunately these two could not practice often at all, and their contribution remained limited. It left the band stagnant, trying to force two members to catch up on years of work between Eryk and Crosby in a few days. Worse, Crosby fell seriously ill and did not leave his home. After this and several failed recording attempts, Devil in the Belfry called a hiatus while Eryk and Crosby seperated at their respective colleges.

While Crosby was having trouble finding comrades at Ithaca College, Eryk stumbled upon Daniel, guitarist and extraordinary drummer. Daniel took immediate interest in the Devil in the Belfry, and soon became a member. Crosby and Eryk are particularly pleased with his work, as it complements their original pieces rather than compromising them like their former drummers did. While they still lack a bassist, after nearly three years the Eryk and Crosby have formed an unbelievable musical experience, with much potential to overthrow the capitalist corrupters.

The Fools! The Fools! The Fools!

The last of these entries will be blatant self-promotion.

In order to successfully self-promote myself, I must begin to feed the search engines with key terms.

hackz
serialz
crackz
Halo 2
warez
hookups in [your town]
l33t
N'Sync Reunion
free pornography
cute kittens
registration code
full download
wild college girls
Half-Life pirated!
John C Calhoun

Now that every search ever done on the internet will come back to my blog, it is time to exploit the curiosity of visitors. I'm the man. Like, seriously everyone. I'm the friggin' man. Now my grades might not be perfect or my looks or BMI up to good scale, but I'm the man. I used a careful scientific method that includes perfect scores on these highly scientific devices:

http://www.pinrepair.com/arcade/griptea1.jpg TOP STAR ACHIEVED!
http://members.aol.com/kuhfeld/psycgraf.htm THE HEAD OF EINSTEIN!
http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p3327.htm ULTRA BFFAE!

So according to the scientific "Man" graph, I fall here:
Meryl -----------------*--Eric
Streep -----------------*--Sterbenk

This puts me a little bit ahead of Chuck Norris, but a little behind John C Calhoun. (to all the doubters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:JohnCCalhoun.jpeg) Unfortunately I'll never quite reach the caliber of men like Eric Sterbenk, but I can dream to better myself.

Since I'm the man, I can translate the results of these tests into several niche jargons:

I'm a level 12 fire-breather with fairydust shields and tungsten-based harpoons.

Uno, I'm like, uno. this guy.. who's uhh. y'know, just, uhh the guy. You know what I'm sayin.

1'm th3 m4n gµ¥$, $3r10µ$£¥. ¥0µ Ð0n't µnÐ3r$t4nÐ h0w 3£1t3 1 4m.

An addendum to my series: The Linux Scare

This is an email I sent to my friend Ben that sums up the problem with Linux adoption perfectly.

Ben, Linux has just passed that threshold where it is useable for all. unfortunately, it is our generation (including people up to their late 20s) who keep linux outside the mainstream.

Our generation has been around computers enough to expect ease in fixing them. Windows? oh, you're missing a driver. OS X? oh, enable this. Linux? oh, run the bash and become root and modify the contents of this file. This is daunting to most, because 99% of us are computer-literate, not skilled in computers. The older generation, our parents and such, don't have these ideas of usability. No matter what the problem, they contact the Geek Squad or the younger kid in the family who has a knack for fixing machines. The elder generation just wants something to work fairly intuitively, which linux has done by now. I'll make a bet that if I met someone who never used a computer before and gave them a linux box with email, word processing, and internet clients, their complaints would be run-of-the-mill.

It is our burden to learn more and adopt linux, even if our generation believes in their ability to compute and doesn't want that compromised.

Catholics against the Catholic League!

I was born and raised Catholic. Although I am not the greatest practitione, I do try to adhere to some of the rules of Catholicism. Unfortunately, some of the rules in our catechism distinctly do not sit easy with me. I permit homosexuality, women should be priests as well, and birth control is especially important in underdeveloped countries. These are some of the reasons I cannot fully grasp Catholicism.

My beliefs aside, I am adamantly opposed to the Catholic League. It is currently led by the outspoken William Donohue. I ask Donohue to resign, or at least become a part of the Catholic hierarchy.

If you ask me, the idea of a "lobbying" group that exists seperate to the church is completely protestant. What seperates Catholicism from Christianity is the structure it was founded on. Priests below Bishops below Cardinals below the Pope below God himself. Catholics are supposed to look to their church for spiritual guidance more so than their own Bible.

The Catholic League was originally founded by a Jesuit, which is just fine. Now that it has passed into the hands of a "nobody," their separation is complete and harmful. This League undermines the authority of the Catholic church by acting pseudo-autonomously. If the church wants to correct the ailing American-Catholic population, it is their burden to do so... not the League's.

Today's Catholicism is taking a disturbing trend of removing secularism and intermingling with politics in America. Of course, history saw this coming as that is what the church did in Europe in a very major way up to the Reformation. I think that the Catholic League is aiding this. For instance, Donohue got on President Bush's case when his holiday cards didn't mention Christmas in particular. I am with John Kerry when I say that you can practice your beliefs without imposing them on others via the state.

So I would form a group called Catholics against the Catholic League, but that would make me a hypocrite. I'd rather get married and have nine children.

A history of file sharing

I am compiling a history of my own file-sharing in the past. I no longer do these things and do not condone them in any way. I do not know whether the school would find this appropriate writing material, but all of this is true

First there was FTP sites. This was well before my time and I cannot speak about these with any clarity. As with anything server-based, this was iffy at best... of course file-sharing didn't hit the national spotlight until Napster.

Napster was based on centralized servers, and was easy to shut down. Despite some clamouring for the glory days of Napster, they simply weren't that great. You could only download from one user at a time, one file at a time, and it had to be a music file of usually poor quality. There were hardware limitations involved, but still, they were not glory days.

Then I used KaZaA. KaZaA offered the ability to download from multiple users at once, as well as several different filetypes. KaZaA was decentralized, therefore it was hard to get caught despite the RIAA's publicity stunts. I loved it for what programs I could get, but that was also the reason I stopped using it. KaZaA had malware all over the network, and lots of it made it to my machine. Fortunately, most of the time I had the right software in place to stop it. Then came eDonkey.

eDonkey was a smoother version of KaZaA, with more options and no malware. The networks were hybrids, running on the users and servers. Most of the servers were based in Europe, making them harder to shut down by the RIAA. After I left for college I stopped using eDonkey and began to simply borrow CDs from friends who are music buffs.

What is the buzz now? Bit Torrent of course. Bit Torrent is completely decentralized and can be used to sent practically anything anywhere. Plus, some Bit Torrent hosts, called trackers, function in private communities and are nearly impossible to track.

Bit Torrent, and every evolution in file-sharing, remains one step ahead of those looking to shut it down. Bit Torrent will be their hardest case yet.

Root Beer is my nectar, and it surprises me when so few believe the same.

Root Beer is a drink that is unique to America. It still is relatively unknown to the rest of the world. Root Beer is seperate from most other soft drinks for being a conceptual drink. Coke is Coke, and Pepsi is Pepsi, but not all Root Beers are created the same. Some are much better than others, some are absolutely awful. Most Root Beers are traditionally fermented in order to carbonate them, but that practice has died out in most commercial brews. Here are my comments on a few of them:

Barq's: Everyone who loves Root Beer hates Barq's. I appreciate it for what it is, a Root Beer that tastes way to much like Coca-Cola. So if you want that kind of taste, which is fairly bitter and not very frothy, go for Barq's.

Stewart's: My favorite Root Beer, but mostly for sentimental reasons. Stewart's Drive-ins are quite possibly the greatest place to get food on the Jersey Shore (tied with the Windmill). My best friend and I would go to Stewart's and get Root Beer in frosty mugs and cheese fries. So many cheese fries.

Jones: Overpriced crap. Sorry hipsters and Target shoppers.

Mug: Same thing that Barq's has going for it, only Pepsi-based instead. This actually works a little better, not as bitter. I find this odd because I never liked Pepsi.

Saranac: The champagne of Root Beers. Open it over a trash can and drink whatever froth you can. When kept cold, it is rich and sharp. At four dollars per six pack, it's a great value as well. Available at your local Wegman's.

Ithaca Root Beer: We're all very lucky. It's expensive, but enjoy it. Wonderful brew that I sorely missed over winter break.

My Judicial Affairs Letter

I had to write a letter to Judicial Affairs about the rabbit in my room. Here it is.

I ask that when I am placed in the stalks in front of town, spare me my dignity and honor. My grievous wrongdoing was bad, I know, but I understand my punishment. Let the physical pain be all there is to give me.
It was a foul, rainy day when my letter arrived to me. It was the indictment that was inevitable, the eviction. I had been harboring a fugitive hare for quite some time. I assumed that eventually the rage of my neighbors boiled over. Some of the extremely discontent advocated a violent solution, reaching to the very heads of state. Luckily, cooler minds prevailed and the authorities were contacted.
Their rage was justified in what that hare did to interrupt their everyday lives. It would scream throughout the night, disrupting quiet hours. How would they catch up on their sleep? While my back was turned that filthy hare would open up my drawers and rub its disgusting, germ-infested hairs on my unworn clothing. When I stepped out of my room I was the allergenic equivalent of the hydrogen bomb.
A comrade of mine who was visiting decided to take the hare home with him. There she will have the company of other filthy hares in the University of Rochester. That institution is noted for the serious allergen problems had by students, since small animals run untamed in their hallways. It is a serious issue that causes the very academic spokes that run the show to stutter and fail.
My prayers have been with my friend, hopefully he can make the trek back without incident. Hares are known to be carnivorous when without food for long periods of time.
I have complied with the judge’s order for re-education. What a profound effect the presentation had upon me! The decisions that Holocaust survivor juxtaposed next to the teenager who was simply too loaded to do the right thing really spoke to me. I actually was so compelled by the comparison that I proceeded to apply all my maligned collegiate decisions to various pogroms.
As the day closes, and my punishment ends, I hope we can all put this ordeal behind us. The dark ages are no longer with us, and we can now resume prosperity in our community. I will never falter like this again, for the damage I have done was far too great.

I cannot hold out any longer.

I succumb. You hear that AIM, I signed on today.

American youth is slowly falling into a world of interersonal relationships that mean nothing. A written language quickly deteriorating into nothing but "u goin 2 skool?" or the infamous "lol." The relationships we keep online are meant to barely cling on to some friends, or never let them go for that matter. I, a man of small social circles, see this world sickening. On top of that, I pride myself in exceptional conversation skills. Quick wit and pitch control make me sound less dull than the oversimplificated musings placed on a Buddy Profile.

I have to use AIM now, for unfortunately not even my dearest friends feel the same way I do. They have been assimilated, in one sense or another, to this false god. I cannot make new friends, because apparently AIM conversation is a necessary part of the friend-making process, before phone calls and hang-outs. SO not only is my existing social structure crumbling, any efforts to extend it are worthless.

So tonight, I sit "online." My away message is up, it reads: "Doing better things with my time."

The Linux Kernel

Whenever you are buying a computer, salesman like to use the car analogy. I'm going to use it here.

OS X is like driving a BMW. It is precision engineered, fast, and if taken care of it will last you a lifetime.

Windows XP is a Ford Station Wagon. It was made to please, but it's underpowered and destined to rust out in a few years... requiring you to purchase a new one.

Linux is a tank with radar-cloaking armor and a laser guided cannon. The engine runs on nuclear waste so there is no need to refuel it. On top of all that, you get it for free if you want it.

Yet very few end-users (people who are not running servers, linux is king there), bother with linux. Instead most choose the Windows jalopy. It's easy to drive a station wagon with those annoying automatic seat-belts (a metaphor for the wizards used in setting up windows XP that never fully get the job done)... A tank requires training, sometimes years worth.

Mac OS X and Linux are cousins in a way. They both feature the same sense of security and stability (They are both based on Unix, and have developed into their own worlds). What is more important is the GPL, or General Public License for use.

All of the Linux distributions out there today are OPEN SOURCE and FREE. This means anyone can edit them (If they desire to do so) and use them without paying. It's not just the operating system, most linux software is similarly free. With every piece of software for other OS's, linux has it's own equivalent. Instead of Photoshop, theres GIMP. Instead of Microsoft Word, theres Open Office. Think of how much money you have spent on software, now picture getting all of it for free.

Open Source does have caveats. There is no tech support line, just a web forum of fellow users. Sometimes the software might be buggy or crash. There is a learning curve to Linux, because it is made by programmers, ease of use was never a concern for them. Slowly, it is becoming more end-user friendly, but until then Linux is not for the timid.

Either way, once you can pilot that tank, you will have nothing but power and glory in your computing days. I recommend linux to all my friends, many of them have adapted to the environment and embraced it. I use it all the time, it's so worth it. Wikipedia "Linux" for more information.

Mac OS X, or more appropriately: Apple Computer

The world of Apple Computer changed dramatically yesterday, so I'll comment on that after I give a brief synopsis of OS X.

OS X has no viruses. At all. So far, nobody has been able to write a virus akin to the kind found upon Windows XP. The security is top notch, with a built in firewall and Unix-based kernel. With OS X, as well as Linux, you are required to enter your password for any type of software installation. Therefore, nothing can get onto your machine wihout your expressed permission.
Furthermore, OS X is intuitive and miles ahead of Windows in terms of functionality. It has a built-in indexed search feature, where you type in a file and it appears in front of you in seconds. The Finder is easy to navigate with sidebars for all of your most important folders. There is a dock which keeps all your frequent programs nearby. To op it off, you have features like Expose, Dashboard, and the gorgeous GUI that is Aqua. Once again, Wikipedia "OS X"

In all my life, I have only seen OS X crash once.

Now something entirely new has occurred. Apple computers now support booting Windows XP. This is a big deal for a great reason. I have always admired OS X, and I always believed that Apple makes quality computers that live much longer than one's made by other manufacturers. My problem was that for the longest time they were hopelessly tied to one another... You buy a Mac, and that's it... you can't do anything else with it. This was going to be my main caveat in OS X. Now, with the support for Windows XP, I say Apple has touched on something brilliant.
There seems to be an outcry among Macheads over this. Personally, I think they're all a bunch of whiners. They're either complaining that OS X will be compromised or their great hardware is disappearing or the software-hardware integration is slowly falling apart with each radical change Apple makes. Their sky is always falling.
Apple will be selling their machines alongside other PC's in retail stores, preloaded with Windows. Now people can experience the speed and beauty of a mac, with the possibility of running the superior OS X. They are confident that once they try, they'll buy. This system also ensures Apple's competitiveness in the marketplace. With an OS that runs on Intel, they can abandon making their computers and just license OS X. If OS X fails, their computers can support any x86 OS: Windows, Linux, MenuetOS, whatever!

Godspeed, Apple. Go forth and do something good.

Windows XP

     Software cannot be put on trial for crimes against humanity. I would shoot Windows on sight for damage to our psyche and our property.
     Windows is what is responsible for your malware, not some h@ck3rs with nothing better to do but ruin your day. It is the flaws in Windows XP that allows your system to be compromised. Those who say your system is safe in Windows probably also advocate the use of anti-virus programs like Norton or MacAffee. Why can't your operating system protect itself? The idea that every OS is susceptable to virii is a myth which I will address in the next chapter.
     After two or three years, why does your computer slow down? Windows cannot handle too many programs installed on it. It is the only operating system where this is a recurring problem. If you reformat a Windows Xp computer, then it will start running fine once more. The way it organizes programs when processing them is what causes the problem.
     If you want better, more in-depth criticism of Windows XP that run a mile long, go to the Wikipedia article "Common criticisms of Windows XP."
     Unfortunately, people now live with the substandard experience of Windows XP without knowing the alternatives. Everyone things that this is what computing means: flawed machines that get along with your desires if you are lucky. People are reluctant to try Linux or the more expensive Apple machines. Why would you when you don't think it will make a difference? Or you have simply spent too much time tweaking your machine to get it to work?
     The next two articles will be much more positive, but will remain ciritical of their limits. I am firmly convinced that Windows XP is not good for anyone.

Rowland Weekly: Sectional Strife in the Empire

On March 14th, Rowlanders were in disbelief as the basement of Rowland attempted to declare independence from the Empire.
The situation was quelled within a matter of hours, but Rowlanders no longer know what to make of their comrades below.
“All this time I thought we were at peace. I don’t know whether it is safe here anymore,” said Jennifer Parker. Ms. Parker is a 1st floor Rowland resident who live only a few yards away from the entrance to the basement. She could hear the rapid fire of the Rowland Defense Force Nerf guns suppressing the uprising.
The uprising is believed to revolve around the purpose Rowland basement serves in the empire. For years, they have been the labor backbone, providing food and manufactured goods to the rest of the empire.
“We want freedom of advancement and penicillin,” said an anonymous Basement Official. “We are human beings who have worked too hard for your material wealth! We have been abused for the final time.”
Grand Chancellor Michael Crosby calmly replied, “We have never abused the basement! We’ve just exploited their workforce to the breaking point, what’s so wrong about that?”
Indeed.

Rowland Weekly: Guardians of the Week

I have a Dashboard Widget now to keep up with my blog. I wrote two stories today for a faux newspaper: The Rowland Weekly. I have fashioned my dorm room into an empire with an authoritarian media. Here is the first story...

After continuous threats from the imposing Tower dormitories, Rowland has defiantly proclaimed it’s right to control the destiny of the Lower Quads.
On March 27th, Rowland Grand Chancellor Michael Crosby signed the Monrowland Doctrine, asserting to the Towers that the Lower Quads will remain in Rowland’s Sphere of influence.
“We’re protecting our interests,” said Crosby. “We cannot let the wars that cover the Towers Concourse in blood to spill into our domain.”
This sentiment comes with repeated cheers from all who live under the empire, who have felt the repercussions of the war economically. Ever since the East Tower expelled its unwanted temp housing students into the West Tower, retribution and Nerf gunfire permeate the atmosphere. Customers of BJ’s Convenience Store require military escort. Rowland has stationed anti-aircraft and ground troops outside Holmes for protection.
With the acquisition of the Lower Quads come the spoils. These include the Landon basement intelligentsia. Rowland scientists are collaborating with these great minds to build faster, lighter, and more powerful nerf weaponry for our own self-defense.
Rowland’s actions in signing the Monrowland Doctrine have received the approval of the Terrace Confederation. Terrace 10 Ambassador to Rowland Kendra Sundal has told the Rowland Weekly that “Terrace Confederation supports the decision of the Rowland Grand Chancellor. If the Towers should disagree, we shall descend upon them and change their minds with force.”
When asked about a possible alliance with Terrace Confederation, the Grand Chancellor had no comment.