The last of these entries will be blatant self-promotion.

In order to successfully self-promote myself, I must begin to feed the search engines with key terms.

hackz
serialz
crackz
Halo 2
warez
hookups in [your town]
l33t
N'Sync Reunion
free pornography
cute kittens
registration code
full download
wild college girls
Half-Life pirated!
John C Calhoun

Now that every search ever done on the internet will come back to my blog, it is time to exploit the curiosity of visitors. I'm the man. Like, seriously everyone. I'm the friggin' man. Now my grades might not be perfect or my looks or BMI up to good scale, but I'm the man. I used a careful scientific method that includes perfect scores on these highly scientific devices:

http://www.pinrepair.com/arcade/griptea1.jpg TOP STAR ACHIEVED!
http://members.aol.com/kuhfeld/psycgraf.htm THE HEAD OF EINSTEIN!
http://www.kidzworld.com/site/p3327.htm ULTRA BFFAE!

So according to the scientific "Man" graph, I fall here:
Meryl -----------------*--Eric
Streep -----------------*--Sterbenk

This puts me a little bit ahead of Chuck Norris, but a little behind John C Calhoun. (to all the doubters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:JohnCCalhoun.jpeg) Unfortunately I'll never quite reach the caliber of men like Eric Sterbenk, but I can dream to better myself.

Since I'm the man, I can translate the results of these tests into several niche jargons:

I'm a level 12 fire-breather with fairydust shields and tungsten-based harpoons.

Uno, I'm like, uno. this guy.. who's uhh. y'know, just, uhh the guy. You know what I'm sayin.

1'm th3 m4n gµ¥$, $3r10µ$£¥. ¥0µ Ð0n't µnÐ3r$t4nÐ h0w 3£1t3 1 4m.